Reflections on Proverbs 20
We don’t usually think of boundaries as beautiful.
But what if they’re what make beauty possible in the first place?
This week at church, Brian, our pastoral resident, preached on Proverbs 20. I was serving in the nursery during the service, so I didn’t get to hear it live. But later that day, I sat down with the livestream so I could catch up. I’ve been writing through each chapter of Proverbs week by week, and I didn’t want to skip this one.
The chapter covers a range of topics: justice, speech, honesty, discernment. But most of it, as Brian pointed out, can be grouped under “moral boundaries.” These are the kinds of limits that don’t restrict life as much as shape it. But that only makes sense if you believe life has a shape in the first place.
If you’ve ever tried to play guitar without knowing how, you’ll know what I mean.
Imagine picking up a guitar for the first time. You can do whatever you want with it. Bang on the strings, twist the knobs, start strumming, no instruction, no structure, just doing whatever feels good. You’re technically free. But what you’re playing probably sounds chaotic. The guitar was built with certain boundaries in mind. Strings have pitch. Frets divide sound. Chords form harmonies. There’s a design to it, a right way to approach it. And until you learn them, what comes out isn’t music.
It’s just noise.
Now picture someone who’s spent time learning how the guitar works. They know their scales, their chord shapes and rhythm. They’ve embraced limitations such as finger positioning, timing, even discomfort. But now, when they pick up that same guitar, something beautiful happens.
They can make beautiful music. They can improvise and can even break the “rules” with intentionality because they know the structure they’re working within. They aren’t less free than the person banging on strings at random; they’re more free.
The structure didn’t limit them. It released them.
God’s moral boundaries are like that.
They’re not barriers to keep us from living, rather they are the framework that helps us live well. Proverbs 20 brings this design to life, starting with purpose.
Proverbs 20:5—“The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.”
Without wisdom, we stay at a surface level, blind to our own purpose. But through God’s Word and Spirit, we are taught how to live in tune with His design.
As Brian pointed out, and this was the statement that really stuck with me, if life didn’t have an ultimate purpose, then wisdom wouldn’t even be a category. There’d be no such thing as “a good way to live”, only preference, survival, or self-expression.
But wisdom assumes a telos. A goal. A design that can either be honored or ignored. That design is revealed in how we actually live.
Proverbs 20:11— “Even a child makes himself known by his acts, by whether his conduct is pure and upright.”
Basically, you can’t fake who you really are for very long because your actions always give you away. The verse mentions kids because they haven’t learned to hide their motives yet. But honestly, adults aren’t much better at hiding their true selves.
Your life is like a walking advertisement for what you actually care about, not what you say you care about. You might think you can be one way at church and another way everywhere else, but people aren’t stupid; your actions speak volumes.
This brings up a deeper question about control. If our character inevitably shows through our actions, and if there’s a design we’re meant to follow, what role do we actually play in shaping our own lives?
Proverbs 20:24— “A man’s steps are from the Lord; how then can man understand his way?”
For someone like me, who spent a lot of life trying to chart my own course and make sense of it afterward, that’s actually comforting. I don’t know what’s coming next. I’ve had plans fade, doors close, things not work out. But the more I’ve come to value God above everything else, the less I feel the need to force everything to make sense right now. I don’t have to be the architect. God’s wisdom is better than mine, and His boundaries lead to a kind of freedom I never had when I was just doing my own thing.
I used to fear that giving up control would mean giving up identity. Now I’m learning that trusting God is where my identity actually takes shape.
But here’s the thing about living within these boundaries: we are not meant to live in them alone. It takes a community to keep you in tune.
That’s why discipleship has become so important to me. I need people who know me well enough to help me hear what’s really going on in my heart.
Proverbs 20:27—“The spirit of man is the lamp of the Lord, searching all his innermost parts.”
God sees me clearly. And when I let friends, mentors, my church community in, they help me see clearly too. Not just in the big decisions, but in the small, daily ones where integrity is built.
Final Thought:
Whether you’re a believer or a skeptic, I wonder if the guitar image lands for you. The idea that what looks like restriction might actually be the path to something more beautiful than chaos ever promised.
That the shape of your life matters because it was meant to matter.
That maybe, just maybe, the strings weren’t meant to be broken, but played.
Let me know what you think.