Love = Obedience? (Part 1: What if I Keep Falling Short)

“In the Bible, Love = obedience.”—Bryson Gray

That might sound cold or rigid at first glance. At least, that’s what I thought when I saw this post. Maybe that’s because I grew up in a world that taught me that love means acceptance, support, and warm feelings. “Obedience” feels like the opposite of all that: rules, pressure, and expectations.

Still, that short equation, Love=obedience, wouldn’t leave me alone. I kept coming back to it in prayer. Why was it lingering in the back of my mind?

So, I went to Scripture to try and understand it and I started seeing it everywhere:

John 14:15—“If you love Me, keep My commandments.”

John 15:10—“If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love.”

1 John 5:2—“By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey His commandments.”

2 John 1:6—“This is love: that we walk in obedience to His commands.”

Time after time, obedience and love, bound together. And that’s just in the New Testament.

But what do I do with that?

If being honest, sometimes I feel like Paul, when “I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” (Romans 7:15)

As James rightly pointed out in Chapter 4 of his epistle, my passions are at war within me, and I don’t always succeed in the moment at overcoming temptations.

I fall short. Constantly.

And when I hold that up next to the verses above, I start to ask questions I don’t know how to answer.

If love equals obedience, then what does that say about my love for God? Can I still say I love Him when I keep falling short?”

Why does obedience feel so hard, even when I want to obey?

And what do I do with the guilt that creeps in when I know what’s right and still fail to follow through?

Final Thought:

I want to love God more deeply, and I want that love to show up in how I live. But I am painfully aware of this gap between my desire to obey and my ability to follow-through.

That’s why I asked Dr. Shay Barrington if she would be willing to write a companion piece on the topic. What she wrote helped me stop spiraling and start hoping again.

If you’ve felt the same tension, if this idea unsettles something in you too, I hope you’ll read her reflection next.

➡️ Read Part 2: Obedience: Heaven’s Love Made Visible